About Becky
Clinical depth, clear thinking and therapy that reaches beyond insight
I’m Becky Grace Irwing, a BABCP-accredited Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist, EMDR therapist working towards practitioner accreditation, and Registered Mental Health Nurse.
I offer specialist psychological therapy online across the UK, Europe & Worldwide (excluding US & Canada) and in person from my therapy room in Norwich NR1
I work particularly with thoughtful, highly responsible adults, including therapists, healthcare professionals, leaders and helpers, who are used to being capable, dependable and psychologically aware.
Many of the people I work with understand their patterns very well. They have reflected, read, tried therapy or worked hard to change, yet remain caught in overthinking, over-responsibility, shame, perfectionism, emotional exhaustion or the fear that they have somehow got something wrong.
My role is not simply to help you develop more insight. It is to help us understand what is organising the pattern, what continues to reinforce it and what may allow something to shift.
The Good Person Trap®
A central theme running through my work is what I call The Good Person Trap®.
This describes what can happen when being good, helpful, capable or responsible becomes connected to safety, belonging and worth.
You may feel responsible for preventing distress, making the right decision, anticipating other people’s needs or ensuring that nobody can misunderstand you. Rest, boundaries and ordinary human mistakes may feel disproportionately uncomfortable, or even morally dangerous.
These patterns often develop for understandable reasons. They may be shaped by early responsibility, attachment experiences, trauma, neurodivergence, social expectations or environments in which being useful and undemanding helped you remain safe or connected.
Our work is not about making you less caring. It is about helping you retain your values without being governed by fear, compulsion or chronic self-abandonment.
My clinical background
I have more than 15 years of experience across NHS mental health services, specialist clinical teams, higher education mental health and disability support, and independent practice.
My professional background includes:
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Registered Mental Health Nursing
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Postgraduate Level 7 training in Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapy at King’s College London
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BABCP accreditation as a Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist
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EMDR therapy training through an EMDR Association UK recognised provider
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ongoing work towards EMDR practitioner accreditation
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CBT-E Training, CBT ERP & Inference Based CBT for OCD
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clinical experience across trauma, OCD, eating disorders, neurodivergence and complex mental health presentations
My experience spans primary, secondary and tertiary NHS services, including acute, crisis, community and specialist eating-disorder care.
This breadth allows me to consider the whole clinical picture rather than reducing a complicated experience to a single symptom, diagnosis or technique.
How I work
My approach is warm, active, collaborative and formulation-led. A psychological formulation helps us understand how your experiences, beliefs, protective responses, relationships, nervous system and present circumstances may fit together. It gives therapy a coherent direction while remaining open to revision as we learn more.
Depending on your needs, our work may draw upon:
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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
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EMDR
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Exposure and Response Prevention
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Inference-Based CBT
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compassion-focused approaches
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attachment-focused EMDR
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parts-informed work
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somatic and body-based regulation
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sensory and neurodivergence-informed adaptations
Therapy is not about collecting techniques. We use the approaches that make sense for your formulation, preferences, goals and capacity.
I bring structure and clinical thinking into the room rather than leaving you to work everything out alone. I will offer honesty and thoughtful challenge alongside compassion, while respecting your autonomy and the pace at which your system can meaningfully integrate change.
Lived experience and neurodivergence
I am a late-diagnosed AuDHD woman navigating midlife, and my work is informed by an understanding of how masking, sensory needs, executive functioning, attachment, trauma and social expectations can interact.
I also bring lived understanding of recovery from longstanding difficulties with food, control and self-worth.
Therapy does not become about my story. However, these experiences have shaped my belief that behaviours which appear irrational or self-defeating often began as intelligent attempts to cope, regulate, belong or remain safe.
Change is more sustainable when we understand and respect those adaptations rather than trying to remove them through shame, pressure or force.
What matters to me in therapy
I believe therapy works best when it:
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respects your autonomy and identity
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offers clear, ethical boundaries
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balances compassion with honesty and challenge
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considers your body and nervous system as well as your thoughts
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adapts around neurodivergence and sensory needs
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remains aware of culture, power and difference
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has enough direction to create meaningful change
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is reviewed rather than assumed to continue indefinitely
My practice is LGBTQIA+ affirming, neurodivergence-informed and culturally responsive.
The aim is not for you to become dependent upon therapy. It is for you to develop greater freedom, clarity, self-trust and capacity in your own life.
Starting with Clarity & Direction
If you are considering working with me, the first step is a 90-minute Clarity & Direction Assessment.
This gives us enough time to understand what is happening, begin developing a psychological formulation and consider which kind of support may be most useful.
Afterwards, you will receive a personalised written summary with my initial understanding, recommendations and possible next steps.