The Good Person Trap™

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You look like you’re doing well.

You’re thoughtful. Self-aware. Capable. You’ve probably done therapy before. You understand your patterns.

And yet… you still find yourself stuck: overthinking everything, putting others first and then resenting it, feeling like you’re “too much” or “not enough”, pushing yourself through when you’re exhausted, knowing why you feel this way but not being able to shift it.

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This is what I call the Good Person Trap™, a pattern I see in people who have learned to be good, capable, and self-aware… often at the cost of themselves. It’s not a lack of insight. It’s that your nervous system is still organised around past experiences, and talking alone doesn’t always reach that.

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Why weekly therapy can only take you so far

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Weekly sessions can be helpful. But they can also become… familiar. You talk, reflect, leave, and then life takes over again. For many people, this leads to insight without real change, repeating the same conversations, and frustration that therapy should be working better than this. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because the format doesn’t always allow for deeper processing.

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What’s different about EMDR Intensives

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An intensive creates space to go further. Instead of stopping just as something starts to shift, we stay with it.

We work in a structured, contained way that allows your brain to properly process past experiences, update emotional responses (not just understand them), and move out of long-standing survival patterns.

This is often where things start to actually change, not just in theory, but in how you feel day to day.

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Ways to Work Together

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Half Day Intensive - from £550
A focused introduction to intensive work. Ideal if you’re newer to EMDR or want to begin gently.

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Full Day Intensive - from £1100 
A full day to process and integrate one or two key themes. Often where people begin to notice real shifts.

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Weekend Intensive - £2500–3000 
Two to three structured days to go further into long-standing patterns, with preparation and integration support.

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Multi-Day Programme (5 days) - from £4600-6000

A more immersive approach for complex or long-standing trauma. Structured, supported, and paced across several days.

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Retreat & In-Home Intensives

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For some people, stepping outside of a traditional therapy setting allows for deeper focus. I offer retreat-style or in-home intensives, where I travel to you or a chosen location. This might include a private Airbnb, a quiet countryside setting, or a space that feels removed from day-to-day life. Most of this work currently takes place across East Anglia (Norfolk, Suffolk, Cambridgeshire), though UK-wide travel can be arranged where appropriate.

 

Pricing for this is bespoke and depends on location, duration, travel and accommodation, and the level of support needed. This is a more personalised, high-touch way of working.

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Travelling to Norwich

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Many clients choose to travel to Norwich for their intensive.

It offers a calm, contained environment without the intensity of larger cities. There are a range of options including boutique hotels, serviced apartments, and quieter countryside stays within 20–30 minutes of the city.

If helpful, I can guide you towards options that support the work.

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This isn’t about “fixing” you

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Most of my clients aren’t broken. They’re the ones who held it together. The “good one”. The reliable one.

EMDR intensives aren’t about digging for something dramatic. They’re about working with the experiences that shaped you, including the ones that didn’t look like trauma at the time.

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Is this a good fit?

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This tends to suit people who are used to thinking deeply about themselves, feel stuck despite insight, want something more focused than weekly therapy, and are ready (or close to ready) for deeper work.

It may not be the right fit if you’re currently in crisis, need ongoing weekly support, or a slower pace feels more appropriate right now. If that’s the case, we’ll look at a different starting point.

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What an intensive actually feels like

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People often expect it to be overwhelming. In reality, it’s structured, paced, and carefully held.

Each intensive includes preparation and stabilisation, a clear focus for the work, breaks and regulation built in, and time for integration. You’re not pushed beyond your capacity. We work with your nervous system, not against it.

 

How it works

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We begin with an EMDR assessment (60 minutes) to understand your history, patterns, and readiness. From there, we decide together whether an intensive is the right next step. Your intensive is then planned around you, your goals, your pace, and your capacity, followed by focused processing and integration, with follow-up support where needed. This is not a one-size-fits-all approach.

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Investment

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EMDR intensives are a focused, specialist way of working designed to create meaningful movement in a shorter period of time. Fees vary depending on format and level of support, and will be discussed during the assessment process. Payment is required in advance to secure your booking.

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Cancellation Policy

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Intensives require dedicated time and preparation. Because of this, 14 days or more notice allows for a full refund or reschedule, 7–14 days’ notice means 50% of the fee is retained, and less than 7 days’ notice means the full fee is retained. In exceptional circumstances, please get in touch. This policy allows the work to remain contained and sustainable.

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Availability

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Weekly therapy is offered Tuesday to Thursday and Saturday mornings. Intensives are run on Mondays, Fridays, and selected weekend or across 5 days planned in advance. Availability is intentionally limited to ensure depth and quality.

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Suitability & Safety

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Intensives are most effective when there is enough stability to engage in deeper processing.

If a different pace is more appropriate, we will discuss alternative options. This is about working safely and effectively, not pushing ahead at all costs.

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EMDR & Eating Difficulties

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EMDR can be helpful where eating patterns are linked to past experiences or underlying patterns.

However, intensives may not be suitable if behaviours are currently very unstable, there is medical risk, or more structured support is needed. In these cases, a different approach may be recommended first.

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Next Steps

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You don’t need to figure everything out now.

The first step is simply understanding what’s going on for you, and whether this approach is the right fit.

Book an EMDR Intensive Assessment or start with a Suitability call. This work is intentionally limited to ensure depth, safety, and quality.