Thinking About EMDR Therapy? Here’s What I’d Want You to Know First

EMDR can be incredibly powerful. But not all EMDR therapy is the same and not all EMDR therapists work in the same way. One of the biggest misconceptions I see online is people believing EMDR is something that is simply done to them rather than a carefully paced, collaborative therapeutic process.

Good EMDR therapy is not about pushing somebody quickly into trauma processing because they are desperate for relief.

It is about understanding:

• your nervous system,

• your history,

• your current capacity,

• your coping strategies,

• your relationships,

• your body,

• and the meaning your brain has made about who you had to become in order to survive.

So… How Do You Find a Good EMDR Therapist?

EMDR is not just a protocol. The therapist themselves matter enormously. I would personally look for someone who:

• is properly trained in EMDR,

• has experience beyond basic training,

• understands complexity and dissociation,

• can work relationally and flexibly,

• values preparation and stabilisation,

• and doesn’t make trauma healing sound like a “quick fix”.

I’d also pay attention to how the therapist talks about therapy itself.

Do they speak about:

• nervous system safety?

• pacing?

• collaboration?

• overwhelm?

• complexity?

• neurodivergence?

• attachment?

• burnout?

• perfectionism?

• emotional safety?

Or does it sound highly scripted and transactional? Trauma work is not just about processing memories. It is about helping the whole system feel safe enough to no longer stay stuck in survival.

How Do I Know Whether an EMDR Therapist Is Properly Trained?

One thing many people don’t realise is that EMDR training can vary significantly. In the UK, the main professional body is the EMDR Association UK, and therapists who train through EMDR Association-approved pathways follow recognised standards around training, supervision, ethics, and ongoing professional development.

There are also EMDR trainings available that are not affiliated with or approved by EMDR Association UK. This can sometimes make it difficult for members of the public to fully understand differences in training quality, supervision requirements, clinical experience, and ongoing competency standards.

That does not automatically mean somebody is unsafe or ineffective - but I do think it is reasonable and important for potential clients to ask:

• where a therapist trained,

• whether their training was EMDR Association-approved,

• what level of supervision they receive,

• and what experience they have working with complexity and trauma.

EMDR is a powerful therapy approach, but it is not simply a technique that should be applied rigidly or quickly.

Good EMDR work requires:

• careful pacing,

• collaboration,

• attunement,

• formulation,

• nervous system awareness,

• and the ability to recognise when somebody may need more stabilisation before deeper trauma processing begins.

In my own work, I place a strong emphasis on helping clients feel emotionally safe, informed, and involved in the process rather than feeling like therapy is something being “done” to them.

I completed EMDR training through an EMDR Association UK-approved training pathway (Richman EMDR) and am currently working towards full EMDR accreditation. Alongside this, I attend monthly EMDR group supervision with an EMDR Consultant, alongside individual consultation for complex EMDR cases, in addition to my other specialist supervision in Inference-Based CBT for OCD.

I am also a member of EMDR Association UK and regularly engage in ongoing professional development and specialist consultation within trauma-focused practice. Once fully accredited, therapists are listed within the accredited therapist directory held by EMDR Association UK. I'm not currently listed until I am fully accredited but my membership number is: 175085

For me, ongoing supervision is not simply a professional requirement - it is an important part of practising safely, ethically, and thoughtfully with complex trauma and nervous system work.

Ultimately, qualifications matter - but so does the therapist’s ability to work relationally, safely, flexibly, and with respect for the individual nervous system sitting in front of them.

A Good EMDR Therapist Should Be Able To Explain…

A good therapist should be comfortable answering questions like:

• Why are you recommending EMDR for me?

• How do you work with overwhelm or dissociation?

• What happens if I struggle between sessions?

• How do you decide pacing?

• What if I’m neurodivergent?

• What if I intellectually understand everything but still feel stuck?

• How do you know whether somebody is ready for trauma processing?

You are allowed to ask questions. You are allowed to take your time and you are allowed to choose somebody who feels like the right fit.

One Thing I Often Notice In My Own Work

Many of the clients I work with are people who have spent years trying to “push through” things.

They are often:

• highly self-aware,

• high functioning,

• emotionally intelligent,

• caring,

• responsible,

• perfectionistic,

• burnt out,

• neurodivergent,

• or used to carrying everything alone.

A lot of them arrive feeling frustrated because they’ve done so much work already. They’ve read the books. Listened to the podcasts. Understood the psychology. Tried to think their way out of trauma. But trauma is not only stored cognitively. This is why therapy that only focuses on logic or insight can sometimes leave people feeling stuck.

My approach tends to involve helping people understand not just what happened to them, but how their nervous system adapted around it.

That often means working carefully with:

• shame,

• over-responsibility,

• hypervigilance,

• emotional suppression,

• “goodness” and perfectionism,

• chronic survival mode,

• identity,

• masking,

• and the pressure to hold everything together.

EMDR Should Not Feel Like Being Emotionally Bulldozed

One of the reasons some people struggle with EMDR is because therapy moves too fast.

Good trauma therapy is not about overwhelming somebody until they “break through”.

In my work, I place a huge emphasis on:

• stabilisation,

• nervous system capacity,

• preparation,

• collaboration,

• emotional safety,

• and understanding why certain protective patterns developed in the first place.

Sometimes the most important part of therapy is not processing faster. It is helping somebody finally stop feeling unsafe with themselves.

Weekly EMDR vs EMDR Intensives

People are often surprised to learn that EMDR can be offered in different formats.

Some people prefer:

• weekly 50-minute sessions,

• slower long-term therapy,

• or a blend of EMDR with CBT or other approaches.

  
  

Others benefit from EMDR Intensives. EMDR Intensives involve longer focused sessions or multiple consecutive days of therapy, allowing deeper work without constantly stopping and restarting each week.

For some people - particularly busy professionals, people travelling long distances, or those wanting concentrated trauma work - intensives can feel more containing, immersive, and effective. But again: the format matters less than the formulation, pacing, and therapeutic relationship underneath it.

How Much Does EMDR Therapy Cost?

In the UK, private EMDR therapy commonly ranges from around £80–£150+ per session depending on:

• therapist experience,

• specialist expertise,

• location,

• additional qualifications,

• and whether they offer standard sessions or intensives.

I would be cautious about choosing solely based on price. Trauma therapy is deeply specialised work. You are not simply paying for an hour of conversation - you are paying for training, clinical experience, formulation skills, nervous system understanding, and the therapist’s ability to hold complexity safely.

Final Thoughts

I think many people searching for EMDR are not actually looking for a “magic technique”.

They are looking for relief. Safety. Clarity. A way to stop feeling trapped inside survival mode. EMDR can absolutely be part of that process. But the therapy relationship, pacing, and the therapist’s ability to understand you as a whole person matter far more than any one modality alone.

Becky Grace Irwing is a BABCP-accredited CBT therapist, EMDR therapist, and former Mental Health Nurse specialising in complex trauma, eating disorders, OCD, burnout, and neurodivergence. She combines EMDR, CBT, nervous system-informed approaches, and relational trauma work to help people move beyond survival mode and reconnect with themselves more fully. Becky offers both ongoing therapy and EMDR Intensives through Becky Grace Therapy in Norwich and online across the UK.

If you are considering EMDR therapy and would like to explore whether it feels like the right fit for you, you can find out more about my approach to trauma therapy and EMDR Intensives below.

Therapy with Becky