What Does EMDR Actually Feel Like?
- Becky
- Apr 30
- 3 min read
This is one of the questions people tend to ask quite carefully. Often there’s a bit of hesitation around it, like they’re not entirely sure how to phrase it, but what they’re really asking is whether it’s going to feel overwhelming or out of control.
It’s usually helpful to start by saying what it isn’t. You’re not out of it, you’re not being taken somewhere, and you’re not losing control. You’re present the whole time, we’re talking, and you can pause or stop whenever you need to. It’s a collaborative process, not something that’s done to you.
What tends to happen is that we start with something quite contained. A memory, a feeling, or a moment that holds a bit of charge. At first it can feel quite straightforward, just noticing what’s there and where it sits in your body. Then, gradually, things begin to move in a way that doesn’t require forcing.
People often notice that their mind starts linking things together. A memory might bring something else up, or a thought might shift slightly, or a different feeling becomes more prominent. It’s not something you have to search for, it tends to emerge on its own. There’s a point where it moves from being something you’re thinking about to something you’re actually experiencing.
The body is usually quite involved in this. People might notice tightness in their chest, a sensation in their throat, or that familiar feeling in their stomach that they’ve had for years but never quite been able to shift. Rather than trying to get rid of it, we stay with it in a very contained way.
One of the things people often find surprising is that it doesn’t necessarily feel overwhelming. There can be emotion, but it tends to come in a way that feels manageable. If it doesn’t, that’s usually a sign we need to slow it down. Good EMDR is paced carefully. It’s not about pushing someone into something they’re not ready for.
Over time, what people notice is that things begin to change without them having to make them change. A memory that felt very present might start to feel more distant. Something that carried a lot of emotional weight starts to soften. It’s often described as the same memory, but without the same intensity attached to it.
After a session, people might feel tired or notice things continuing to process in the background. It’s not unusual for new thoughts or perspectives to emerge over the following days. It can feel quite subtle, but meaningful.
If I had to describe it simply, I’d say it feels like your brain finally getting the chance to process something it didn’t have the capacity to process at the time. Not through effort or analysis, but by allowing it to move in a way that it naturally would have done if it could.
If you’ve been curious about EMDR but unsure whether it would feel like too much, that’s something we can work through together.
You don’t need to decide everything upfront. A Clarity & Direction session gives us space to look at what’s going on for you, how your system responds, and whether this way of working would feel like a good fit.
I’m Becky, a BABCP-accredited CBT, EMDR therapist & Registered Mental Health Nurse. I specialise in working with people who feel emotionally overwhelmed, stuck in patterns, or aware of their difficulties but unable to shift them through talking alone.
I offer EMDR therapy and EMDR intensives in Norwich and online across the UK. In-person sessions take place at my clinic on Ber Street, Norwich.
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