When EMDR doesn't look the way you expect

If you’ve ever been told EMDR might not work for you because you’re “too logical,” “not emotional enough,” or “can’t visualise,” please know this: those things don’t make you difficult or resistant — they make you human.

And often, they make you neurodivergent.

Many of my clients come to me after trying EMDR elsewhere and feeling like they somehow “did it wrong.” They couldn’t picture the memory clearly. They didn’t feel strong emotions. They got caught up in analysing instead of feeling.

But these aren’t signs of doing therapy wrong. They’re signs of a nervous system that’s wired differently, often shaped by years of overwhelm, masking, and survival.

EMDR isn’t just a technique

At its core, EMDR helps the brain and body process experiences that were once too much to handle.It uses bilateral stimulation (like eye movements, sound, or tapping) to help both sides of the brain communicate, allowing the past to integrate into the present.

But EMDR isn’t just about reprocessing memories. It’s about your nervous system. And if your nervous system is neurodivergent, or affected by trauma or long-term stress around food, control, or sensory overload, EMDR needs to be adapted — gently and thoughtfully.

What it can look like instead

If you can’t visualise, that’s okay. We can work with words, sensations, sounds, or metaphors instead.If you don’t feel strong emotions — we focus on nervous system signals, not intensity. If you get overstimulated easily — we slow things down and find the pace your body can safely manage.

Some people with autism, ADHD, or a history of complex trauma experience sensory overload more quickly, or dissociate when things move too fast. Others might overthink because their brain has learned to keep them safe by analysing.

None of these things mean EMDR won’t work. They just mean we adapt it to you.

The real work of EMDR

Healing isn’t about forcing your brain to re-live the past, it’s about helping your nervous system feel safe enough to let go.

That’s why I never rush into trauma memories. We spend time first building safety, trust, and regulation, so that when we do begin processing, your system feels ready.

When EMDR is done with sensitivity, it helps the brain and body integrate what once felt overwhelming, so you can move through life with more ease, connection, and self-trust.

A gentler way

If you’re neurodivergent, live with an eating disorder, or carry the effects of complex trauma, it’s not that EMDR “won’t work” — it just needs to work with you, not against you.

The truth is, healing isn’t about “pushing through. ”It’s about creating the conditions where your body can finally exhale, and trust that it’s safe to heal.

If you’d like to explore EMDR or trauma-informed therapy at your own pace, you can view availability for EMDR, ongoing therapy, or one-off clarity sessions through my client portal on Zanda